how are you

at the thought of you leaving
i cannot help myself
i already feel lonely
even though you're right in front of me

at the thought of you not needing
me, i cannot help
but be afraid and silent, hoping for
the best, not letting fear consume even more
of me

how are you?
i ask, for the eighth time
in a desperate attempt not to
let the conversation die

how are you?
i ask, and let my desperation show
and i feel my fears grow
can you feel them, too?

 Photo: Elvin Ruiz / Unsplash

i miss the days spent
without questioning myself, i can't
go back to them, until i repent
for all the sinful wishes meant
to keep you by my side, that i sent
to heavens

and yet again, i ask:
how are you?
are you still true
to the holy task
you took upon yourself?

you don't answer
you don't need to
the answer is obvious
but i am just a fool
who wants to hear your voice
i am a child
still longing for her toys

do you even see me as i am?
or am i just another
bother
another rock on your holy road
or, maybe, just an ugly toad?
or am i giving myself too much importance
as far as i know, i could just be an invisible annoyance

and again –
try ten:
how are you?
how do you do?
i say as i fall in love more
charmed by your commitment to your goal